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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

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URANIUM ORE

Uranium Ore

Guaranteed to give the recipient that special “holiday glow!”
Available from Amazon.com

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PET SCORPION

Pet Scorpion

This may put some “sting” into your holiday budget, but it’s well worth it – nothing says “you’ve been naughty” quite like this!
Available at many pet shops. Information here.

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Tinsel Toon #10

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Aliens mistake a snowman for an Earthling–

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Monty Python’s Eric Idle, narrates the sketch from the 1968 Christmas version of “Do Not Adjust Your Set,” aptly named “Do Not Adjust Your Christmas Stocking”–

Click on the screenshot to load the video.

Santa Training College

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One of my all-time favorite holiday movies.

Caution: Uncut original. May offend some viewers.

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Martha Stewart’s Holiday To-Do List

Practically perfect, like Poppins
December 1

Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.

December 2
Christmas season kickoff party with King’s College Boy’s Choir.

December 3
Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pine cones, fashion a
cat-o-nine-tails. Flog gardener.

December 4
Bake a pallet of festive cinammon rolls.

December 5
Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself with jeweler’s rouge and cornmeal.

December 6
Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.

December 7
Send Christmas cards to sisters in prison.

December 10
Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.

December 11
Lay Faberge egg.

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